The Long Flight Home with the Most Annoying Flight Attendant
Most of the time, if there is a flight attendant who is overly enthusiastic and drives the passengers nuts it is a temporary thing. It only lasts for a couple of hours, and it can’t be that bad… Today is a double-dose of Mr. Extra-Enthusiastic. He was the purser on my first flight. And he’s once again the purser on this flight – my final flight to get home after three weeks abroad.
What he says isn’t bad, but the extension of several syllables in each wor-red gets a bit frust-RAT-ing. It isn’t like this is the FIRST time we have HEARD this ANNOUNCE-ment. If it was someone else, anyone else, it would be better. It could even be funny or fun. As it is, I’ve been hearing his voice since I left Toronto on my first flight. Now on my second and last leg, I have another two hours and NINE MINUTES of listening to his PA announce-MENTs.
I’ve done my duty and advised those sitting around me that headphones are helpful. I feel bad for the guy sitting in the MIDDLE seat who has the SPEAKER directly above his HEAD.
Flying through Denver usually isn’t bad. It can get a bit tricky with the Rocky Mountains that often cause turbulent air, particularly in warmer weather. One of the strange things about flying is that summer, when most people seem to be flying, is often the bumpiest time to fly across the Midwestern United States.
Also, the Denver airport tarmac is comprised of square sections of concrete. This likely helps with thermal expansion and contraction, but it also makes the ride very bumpy when taxiing. I’m hopeful this is the worst of the turbulence we will experience on this leg of the flight.
A curious thing about flying this much in such a short period of time is that, when I look at a globe on my flight infotainment screen, it looks so much smaller than it used to. Just a few weeks ago I flew 16 hours from Melbourne to San Francisco. Three weeks ago, I flew 10 hours from San Francisco to Munich. Six days ago, I flew the eight or so hours from Frankfurt to Toronto. Today I’m flying three hours from Toronto to Denver and another two hours from Denver to Oregon.
The pilot was right about the turbulence coming out of Denver today. As I type the keys keep on moving with the airplane. This is where I’m fortunate for my air-sick-don’t-vomit tablets. This stuff is fantastic at keeping everything in.
Mr. Enthusiastic just reminded us that flight attendants will be coming THROUGH the CA-BINNN with snacks for PUR-CHASE. And we can find the MEN-U on the United website’s SNACK-TIIIMMEEE page (said as if you were calling a group of five-year-olds to come running for snack time at an overcrowded preschool). If there was ever an alarm clock voice that would get me up quick simply to make the noise stop, this guy would be perfect.
A look at the world below on my way home.
