The Hot Cockpit Mic

We all make mistakes sometimes, and I have made many more than I can count. However, for the pilots on my recent international flight (which I will not name to protect the guilty), I can say that this may have been one of the more interesting mistakes I’ve witnessed in a very long time.

I recently had an 11-hour flight from Europe back to the United States. This was a daytime flight, so I spent most of the trip getting as much work done as I could, while watching a couple of movies. For the last hour or so of my flight, I switched the audio to the Flight Deck. This normally isn’t an option as the pilots usually don’t activate the system. And now I understand why.

The system is supposed to only have the traffic between the airplane and air traffic control (ATC). Somehow, this time, the pilots made a mistake and instead switched the cockpit microphone to broadcast on the Flight Deck audio channel on the in-flight entertainment system. And they clearly had no idea they had done this. I know because at one point one of the pilots said, “I’m sure glad we don’t have a hot mic and that no one is going to hear this conversation.” And the other pilots quickly agreed.

There is something that happens when three men are working in a small room for 11 hours. They pass the time with the usual conversations about family, then get on to hobbies before talking about less family-friendly topics. As I was listening, I heard the discussion between the crew members go from talking about family to boats and finally to funny and embarrassing stories that got progressively less appropriate for discussion with polite company.

Early in my listening, I notified the flight attendant to ask if she wanted to let the cockpit know they had a hot mic. Her response was that she didn’t want to bother the flight deck, and that I could enjoy it. So I kept listening.

At the end of the flight, one of the pilots had to hurry off the plane to catch a flight home (I knew about this based on their discussion on the flight deck). The others needed to hurry to the restroom. I caught up with the pilot who was hurrying toward customs and asked him if he knew he had a hot mic. I have never seen a face get so white, then so red so fast. He immediately reached for his phone to call his captain (who had been ending most sentences for the previous hour with a… strong vocabulary). I let him know I had notified the flight attendant. The pilot’s response was “AND THEY DIDN’T TELL US???”

He said that he had even said that he was glad there wasn’t a hot mic. I responded that I knew, because I heard him say it. This elicited a rather nervous laugh and more attempts for him to call his captain (who I assume was in the lavatory at this time given the captain’s discussion with his crew previously).

I have no idea who else on the plane heard these discussions, but I know this was the channel that I used to tune to whenever I flew as I was growing up. Perhaps it was a good vocabulary lesson for young ears? And perhaps some parents will be answering some very interesting questions.

In any event, I hope the pilot was able to get to his boat tonight and that the crew is now safe at home with their families. They seemed like they had a good time on the flight. And to the first officer who greased the landing, the captain was right in congratulating you for a job well done.