More Hotel Bad Luck

There are a few things that are a given in business travel: bad food, delays, and dirty hotel rooms. This trip has had a few of these issues in spades. I will try to not make this a complete rant about bad hotels and food, but damn it, why does the food have to be this bad??? Okay. Enough with the ranting, on with the storytelling.

Hotel #1

My first hotel was in Chicago. It was a nice, reputable hotel brand that I’ve had good luck with in the past. Upon arrival I was upgraded to a suite. I seem to always get the suite upgrade when I’m doing a quick overnight stay. Anyway, down to the hotel restaurant for dinner. The hotel restaurant was nice and featured a tofu dish with pureed butternut squash, a maple glaze and walnuts. There is also a tasty drink using Lyre’s alcohol alternative spirits. I placed my order. The waitress came back and let me know I’m 0-2. They are out of tofu and don’t have my drink. I settled for a side salad and fries. The bartender made me an NA drink. The drink was ginger ale, lime and mint. Not terribly creative, but passable. The salad is drenched in dressing and the fries are soggy and limp. Welcome to the Midwest!

The hotel gym featured a TRX workout station that, strangely, had no TRX straps – the product the brand is most known for. The other equipment was mostly functional. In the past during COVID I brought my TRX straps with me. They are a great way to get a quick bit of strength training done without leaving the room.

Back at my hotel I grabbed a quick shower before heading for bed. I found a women’s white halter top in the bathroom. Not my size or my gender. 0-3.

Hotel #2:

My second hotel deserves a post of its own, which I wrote before this one. This hotel featured dirty boxers and ketchup on the curtains. I didn’t bother to see if the boxers were my size. Ick. 0-4.

Hotel #3

My third hotel was nicer, but still the staff missed the extra-large t-shirt hanging up in the bathroom. Again, not my size. And again, ick. The rest of the room was clean. The breakfast was standard two-star hotel buffet. Fortunately they have yogurt and cereal. I’m set. 1-5

Hotel #4

The fourth hotel on this trip was the nicest hotel so far. I’ve stayed there before and had good luck with clean, nice rooms. This was a nice relief. No issues aside from broken gym equipment. I’ll take it. I didn’t have the breakfast, as I could get free food at the United lounge at the airport. 2-5. Things are looking up!

Hotel #5

My fifth hotel of the trip was a nicer tier hotel. Upon arrival I learned why the room had been reasonably priced. The hotel was an older property that had received few updates. It was a giant, sprawling property with five interconnected buildings. My room was acceptable, but a bit dirtier than I’d like. The glasses had clearly not been cleaned, as they had icky stuff in the bottom. The shower had a moldy ceiling that hadn’t been cleaned in a few years. Changing rooms would be too much work, so I decided to stay. 2-7. I’m not winning this trip.

The food was typical Midwest, in the worst and most stereotypical ways: meat on everything and everything that isn’t is battered and fried. The hotel lounge, where I would normally have dinner and get work done, had only wings and three types of desserts. No salad. The desserts were reminiscent of visiting my grandmother in Central Illinois and I enjoyed them. I headed to the hotel restaurant to get something more substantial. I opted for the Korean fried cauliflower. It wasn’t great, but it got the job done. The next morning, I tried the lounge again for breakfast. It was bacon, sausage, eggs of some sort with bacon and cereal. I asked for almond or oatmeal milk. When it arrived, it was water with bits of oats. 2-9. This didn’t look good. The next day I tried to find a Panera, Chipotle or Noodles & Co for something healthier. After searching the area, and not wanting to go into Mall of America, I was out of luck. Dinner again at the hotel restaurant, and dessert in the lounge. 2-10. I hope tomorrow is better…

Hotel #6

The sixth hotel of the trip was the nicest yet. The hotel was the same brand as Hotel #5, but the properties could not have been more different. The room was immaculately clean, the elevators worked well and there were vegetarian options available in the hotel lounge. After a week of hotel challenges, it was a great relief on my final night to sleep comfortably, in a clean room, with a shower that wasn’t moldy, without finding excess clothing in the room and genuinely having a good experience. An even better bonus: the hotel gym had working equipment.

The final tally is 4-10. Not great for an eight-day trip. At the end of the day what matters most is that the trip was successful and there were no injuries or illness. Sometimes 4-10 is also called a win.